Of Riddles, Jokes And Guns
by TheDisasterousChibi
Summary: From creator of "What Happens In Gotham"Have you ever wondered just how Katarina and Jack meet? Well it just so happens they went to the same college...with Edward Nygama. Follow me as I take you through their pasts and how they became who they are J/OC


_Chapter One_: New Friends and Wardrobe Malfunctions

(Gotham: June 25, 1997)

Gotham Military Academy.

A place of class, elegance, and lots of rich brats. Katarina Peyton was not one of them. Coming from an average middle-class family, she was a charity case – better known as a scholarship receiver. A junior in high school Katarina was spending the summer visiting this prestigious learning facility.

Her letter of acceptance, and news of her full scholarship, had arrived two weeks after the school year had ended. As advised by her councilor she had applied to all her college choices at the end of her junior year. At sixteen she dreamed of becoming a police officer; her father was a respected member of the Gotham Police Department and she hoped she would join him soon.

The Military Academy was respected throughout the nation as one of the leading institutions for law enforcement. "Harvard with guns!" she had happily exclaimed to her mother as she paraded around her living room with the plain beige typed letter in hand, a victorious grin on her face. So, as per the letter's specification, she had packed her bags to spend two months at the Academy; to help her make up her mind.

As if she had any doubts at all.

There were only three types of people who went to Gotham Military Academy. The brains, a group of people who were recruited by the government for their brilliant and destructive minds in the fields of chemistry, engineering, and cipher crackers. The rich and spoiled children of Gotham mobsters who could learn the inner dealing of the police force. Finally, the wannabe police officers themselves, like Katarina.

After her father dropped off her bags – each mismatched and colorful – in her temporary room and teary good-byes Kat decided to go for a walk to take in the new campus. It was along this merry walk that she met her first friend in college and his best friend.

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"Give me my money back you stupid mechanical piece of--"

"Contrary to popular belief, yelling won't actually make it work…"

A male voice sounded behind Katarina, she spun around to face the man who had interrupted her small private rant. He was a tall, gangly fellow with a sharp hawk nose and light green eyes full of humor and mischief. His outfit was plain and ordinary, much like her own, unlike the ones she had seen paraded down the hall and around the courtyard.

"Here, let me try."

Not waiting for a reply, he brushed past her, giving the machine three well-placed blows. The sound of a release was heard and her coke dropped; he picked it up and handed it to her with a smirk.

"Just needed a little encouragement. Not that your lecture wasn't stimulating." He teased Kat.

"Thanks for slaying the money stealing coke machine, you're my hero!" She proclaimed with mock admiration.

Laughing, the stranger gave her a mock bow and exclaimed, "Anything for my fair lady!"

"Katarina Payton, you?"

"Edward Nygma, pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"I'm sure. Are you a student here?"

"Yes, a newly christened sophomore, and you, Miss Peyton?"

"No, I start next year, I'm a senior at Gotham High." She opened the can with a small snap; the brown foam rose and coated the top of the can.

"So you're here for the tour program, right?" His question sounded more like a statement.

"Yes, that's right," she answered and sipped her soda.

"So how's your mentor?" Edward asked conversationally.

"Mentor…?"

Katarina gave Edward a puzzled look; she had read something about a mentor but at the moment could not recall exactly what that was.

"The person you're to follow around like a lost puppy for the next few weeks? Ring any bells?" In an amusing gesture, he put both hands in front of him flopping at the wrist imitating paws.

"…Right. A mentor. I received his name in the letter. Where do I find them?" She rifled through her green cotton bag for the letter she carried around like a rabbit's foot.

"I can help you there, just give me a name. We sophomore are usually given this job. The dean thinks," he cleared his throat and pretended to fix his imaginary tie, "Your level can better understand these new students, show them around and keep them out of trouble."

"Oh he sounds wonderful. Here we go! Napier, my mentor is Jack Napier," Kat read the name from the letter, typed in bold black ink.

Choked laughter came from her strange new acquaintance. He looked at her, tears forming in his eyes as he tried to hold in his laughter. This went on for a few moments as he tried to take deep breaths to stop the laughing fit.

"So…I take it this Jack person is…not…good?"

"No, no Jack's an awesome guy, my roommate in fact. I was just laughing at the irony of all this."

"Roommate? Then can you take me to meet him?" She asked, her excitement renewed, this was turning out to be a lucky day.

"Technically no females are allowed on the male floors of the campus…but that's only after seven so it won't be a problem."

"Thanks Edward, you're really a life saver. A true Knight in shining armor."

"Merci beaucoup Mademoiselle." He gave her a small half bow.

This quirky and witty boy looked as if he was a great friend to have. She was lucky to meet him. Now if only she could keep the small fear down when she saw the sly look in his eye.

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"Wait, you said this was the male dorm right?" Katarina asked slightly worried.

"Yes the bottom six floors are all male. Why?"

"Oh it's just this is my temporary, and perhaps even permanent, dorm building too. My room's on the eight floor. Freaky, huh?"

"Well isn't life full of surprises?" He held the door open for her when they came to the entrance.

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They made regular small talk as they made their way up the polished wooden steps. A slight creak came from some but it was faint above the buzzing of the near by people.

"So, what is Jack like?"

They had entered the corridor of the sixth floor and were walking in the labyrinthine halls when Katarina finally got around to asking this question.

"Jackie? He's a piece of work. As eccentric and brilliant as they come but shy as a virgin on her wedding night. I swear you say the word girl and he'll be running for the hills."

"Oh, I finally see the irony." Kat gave a short burst of laughter as she imagined a short pudgy boy with glasses and a baby face full of acne.

'Poor guy, she thought, I better not intimidate him'

"Yeah, Jack and I have been friends since elementary. He was scouted to come here. The Academy had a real hard-on for him." Edward continued to give information on his friend.

"Really? That's impressive." Katarina was starting to consider herself lucky to have such an interesting guy for a mentor. Maybe he wouldn't be too scared of her.

"Here we go, room 623. Our humble abode." Edward rapped his knuckles on the white wooden door and yelled, "Jackie get off your ass and open the door!"

A solid thud was heard. A few seconds later a small crashing sound followed by staggering footsteps were heard from the inside.

The door opened.

"Jesus Eddie, when are ya gonna learn to take your damn key--"

Jack, the male they had been discussing, stopped mid-sentence, his cheeks flushed as he stared at Katarina. Katarina too stared, equally red and speechless. The boy in front of her was nothing like she had imagined him to be. He was taller than her guide, Edward, by a few inches, may be two or three. Golden brown hair crowned his head in bouncy curls that reached his broad shoulders. His bare chest was hairless and smooth, his stomach toned but not quite muscular. His upper body was pale and sculpted but it was something a bit…lower that caught Katarina's attention.

The front of his dark wash jeans were undone and hanging hazardously from his slim hips, obviously carelessly put on. The cut of his hipbone was fully in view, his boxes a pale blue with navy stripes, he must have been sleeping if the earlier glazed look in his eyes were evidence. Now those hazel eyes had the look of a scared small furry animal cornered by a lioness. She looked him in the eye trying to avoid looking at…other parts of his body. Her lips made the motions to form words but no sound came out.

Edward's gulping breaths and full belly laugh startled the two out of their stupor. Jack slammed the door in quick hurried movements with a loud resounding bang. Katarina could hear the sounds of shuffling as she kept staring at the door. She abruptly turned to the laughing Edward.

"Y-Yo-You knew this was going to happen!" Katarina smacked the laughing stranger in the arm repeatedly; he raised those arms in a sign of surrender.

"I didn't know…but I had a good idea. Did you see the look on his face?" Edward continued to laugh; he slumped against the wall to keep from falling.

The door opened again, a fully dressed and zipped up Jack came into view this time. Katarina cursed herself for feeling the twinge of disappointment. He had his arms crossed protectively around his chest.

"What do you want, Nygma?" The slicing, cold, tone of Jack's voice contrasted with the earlier easy mannered drawl he had before.

"Don't "Nygma" me Jackie. I was just doing my good deed for the day when lo-and-behold I found your Pada-wan." Edward collected himself enough to speak in a coherent sentence, his voice still tinted with amusement.

"This here is Katarina Payton." Edward introduced her. Katarina was looking at her surroundings, really anywhere other then the blonde before her.

"Pada-wan? What do you mean by Pada-wan?" Jack asked.

"Well you see a pada-wan is a --"

"I know what a Pada-wan is, what I meant was why is she MY pada-wan…You didn't." Jack's eyes widened with realization. Edward's grin grew, stretching across his handsome face.

"I didn't?" He responded.

"You put my name up for mentoring didn't you? Edward Nygma, you are a curse!" Jack lunged at Edward. Smiling, Edward dogged his friend.

"Excuse me..." She was ignored.

"Maybe if…" she continued to be ignored as the two males danced the old dance of friendly battle.

"I said listen."

Katarina chucked her bag at Edward's head, hitting him square in the face. Jack was startled by her voice and meekly backed away from her. Hitting Edward did not seem to make the situation any less amusing to him.

"Isn't he everything I said he was Miss Peyton?" Edward came to Kat's side and gave her a one armed hug, which she responded to with a well-placed elbow.

"Look we can go down to Guidance and get this sorted out if you don't want to mentor." Katarina ignored Edward and he made mocking sounds of pain.

"Aw come on Jackie you not gonna let a looker liker her get away. Come one for God's sake grow a di--"

Another elbow silenced him, this time his cry of pain was not fake. He huffed as he bent over; Kat went to stand by Jack, who shied away from her, averting his gaze.

Jack mumbled incoherently beside Katarina, as she smirked triumphantly at the bent over Edward, she had hit him in the kidney for sure.

"Sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you." Kat turned to face Jack, her radiant smile made some of the earlier color return to his face.

"I'll mentor you," he said with more confidence this time.

"Thanks! I'm Katarina Payton by the way." She extended her hand.

"Jack Napier." He grasped her hand firmly. For the first time Katarina noted that his clothes were made of expensive material, was that an Armani logo?

"And I'm Edward Nygma," recovered Edward, wrapping one arm around each of the two, "I think this is the beginning of a be-a-uti-ful friendship."

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A/N: Tada it's over! Hope you liked it, it was fluffier then usual because their teens and have no care in the world…until I rip their normal lives to pieces that is.

I really liked how Jack and Edward came out in this, Kat was her same saucy, slightly prone to violence, self. I'm gonna miss writing J.C thought…*sigh*


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